Legolas has fun
by littlestkitten
Summary: An odd story that I wrote on a whim. It's not really a Legolas/Gimli, it was supposed to be more Aragorn/Legolas but Gimli gets all the action. Nothing graphic. It's more making fun of people.


A/N: My friend was writing a story while I was at her house and she had to got downstairs for awhile so she said I could keep writing and if she liked what I wrote she would probally mess with it and maybe keep it so I did. The first part is the beginning of her chapter but the funny stuff is mine. It's from the story Sentinel by Lady Darkmoon so don't think that I'm plaguarizing. Please R&R.=^.^= 

Aragorn watched the approaching mass of Orcs from the back of his horse moodily,   
and with a lingering sense of dread. He had been fairly irritable, and   
strangely forlorn. Ever since he had forced Legolas to vow to keep his   
distance. Even though, to his knowledge Legolas had been keeping that promise,   
Aragorn found those, brief, fleeting glimpses of the Elf more distracting than   
before, such as now.   
    From his position atop the horse, Aragorn could look down on his waiting   
soldiers with ease. From here, he could, just barely!, see the slightest hint of   
Legolas' hair, his vision impaired by the fact the elf was kneeling in the   
dirt, obviously outlining specific strategies to the other elves kneeling about   
him, another visionary blockade. Beside him knelt Gimli, making loud, approving   
sounds. Aragorn was envious. Aragorn was envious of anybody that got near the   
elf, of anybody who had the privilege to touch him while he did not. Aragorn was   
especially envious of the shirt Legolas was wearing.   
    This is not working, he thought. He had made Legolas promise not to go   
anywhere near him with the hope that the elf would never take another stupid   
risk for his sake, and also, privately, that it would help him, possibly stop   
him from caring so intimately for the elf. He admitted that. But now the reverse   
was happening, if anything he wanted the elf by his side more now then before,   
and he could barely stop himself from running up to him and dropping on his   
knees to beg for forgiveness. Now, not only had he ruined their friendship   
beyond repair, but he had also crushed the elf in more ways then he could   
possibly count.   
        Right then, while Aragorn was watching, Legolas reached over and pulled   
Gimli into a passionate kiss. It was long and deep as the ex-lovers re-visited   
the depths of each other's mouths. Aragorn almost fell off his horse when he   
saw this, his heart was ripped asunder and he felt as if the world had opened up   
and swallowed him whole. Gimli was in heaven, Legolas and him had shared years   
of passion, but Legolas had been to embarrassed to be seen with a dwarf so he   
had broken off their relationship. The other elves were shocked beyond   
imagining, they couldn't believe that a fellow elf would degrade himself by   
doing that. In their eyes kissing a dwarf was worse then kissing a human. Way   
worse. And that was saying something. Almost nothing was worse then kissing a   
human.   
    Legolas pulled Gimli into a tree. It was fall so all of the leaves had   
fallen off but at least it offered some protection. Legolas smiled at Gimli and   
with a "now that we're alone" pushed him down and started making   
passionate love to him. The elves and all the Orcs that had been sneaking up on   
them sat around the tree and watched enthralled by their fun. Aragorn leaped   
into the tree and accidentally pushed Legolas off of it. Mistaking Gimli for   
Legolas, I really don't know how he managed that, he pulled him into an   
embrace and started kissing him. He soon fell off the tree sputtering not   
believing that he had actually done something as gross as kissing a dwarf. The   
only thing grosser then that was kissing an orc. Which he had the misfortune to   
do a second later. Thinking he finally had Legolas in his grasp he reached down   
and kissed the leader of the Orcs. He turned and barfed all over Legolas.   
Legolas, with a valley girl exclamation of "eew, how gross" ran off into the   
woods screaming.   
    Everybody ran after him knowing that being around him would bring   
entertainment for hours. Aragorn caught up first, rinsed his mouth out, and made   
passionate love to him. When he was finally spent he looked lovingly down at   
Arwen. "Ew a girl, I have cooties" He screamed and ran off into the woods   
lamenting his poor luck.   
    Legolas on the other hand was having sex with anything that came close   
enough and paid enough money, seeing that he was a whore and well, just wanted   
to have sex. Gimli was sad because Legolas had been using him. Well he really   
wasn't that sad, seeing that he had had free sex with a master whore for free.   
In the end it didn't really matter cause Gimli was eaten by a bear.   
    The End 


End file.
